WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. Welcome to Dickens World, a peculiar theme park based on the author’s works. During primary season, it can be tough to decide whom you wish to nominate for president of the United States. Here are some simple ways to decide which candidate is right for you: Don’t vote for anyone who can’t make free throws, b... LIVERMORE, CA—Judging by his 18-month-old son's recent cognitive developments, local father Ryan Hardell figures he has about three more months to get drunk, curse, and make cruel jokes before the child begins forming long-term memories. "... The State Department is preparing to slash the huge diplomatic presence it had planned for Iraq, a sharp sign of declining American influence in the country. Narcissist Thrilled To Find Symptoms In DSM-IV Students at Punahou School in Honolulu, Hawaii, are using Mac notebooks to research class assignments and show results in ways they never could before. These include songs and podcasts recorded and edited in GarageBand, digital presentations and portfolios created in Keynote, campus news videos edited in iMovie and Final Cut Pro, and even iOS apps built using Xcode. Says sixth grade teacher Sandy Chang, “The Macs in my classroom are completely indispensable.” Man Wants To Give To Local PBS Affiliate But Can't Stand Thought Of Free Doo-Wop Album Completely Whipped Man Crying At Wife’s Funeral Blog post and video from Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit about company efforts to stop the Rustock spambot. Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats With the city of Homs reported to be under renewed bombardment, a senior Russian envoy held talks with President Bashar al-Assad on Tuesday. Karen Handel’s resignation comes just days after the group reversed its decision to cut grants to Planned Parenthood affiliates. LOS ANGELES—At a press conference Monday, Everton and Los Angeles Galaxy forward Landon Donovan announced his signing of a $2-Per-Goal contract with his grandparents Frank and Dianne Donovan—a full 100 percent raise from his previous ag... Apple today announced that iPhone 4S will be available in China and 21 additional countries on Friday, January 13. iPhone 4S features Apple’s dual-core A5 chip for fast performance and stunning graphics; an all-new 8-megapixel camera with advanced optics; full 1080p HD-resolution video recording; and Siri, an intelligent assistant that helps you get things done just by asking. “Customer response to our products in China has been off the charts,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “With the launch in China next week, iPhone 4S will be available in over 90 countries, making this our fastest iPhone rollout ever.” In a special post-speech analysis, panelists discuss what America did to make President Obama so angry he was actually spitting while he yelled at us. The Obama administration has faced resistance over a new rule that requires insurance plans at some religious institutions to cover birth control. Vogue’s “Need It Now” column features the new Cards from Apple, which lets users create and mail beautifully crafted cards personalized with their own text and photos from their iPhone or iPod touch. Each card is just $2.99 when sent within the U.S. and $4.99 when sent to or from anywhere else — postage included. Vogue calls the Cards app “nothing short of genius” for reviving the almost forgotten pleasure of receiving a “real, honest-to-goodness paper greeting card in the mail” and concludes: “This is the kind of vintage innovation we would all do well to download.” In a CNET Editors’ review, Jason Parker gives the new GarageBand for iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch 5 out of 5 stars, citing the app’s “uniquely designed and authentic-sounding instruments, smart touch interface, and tools that make song creation easy.” He adds: “Anyone with even a passing interest in creating music should download GarageBand for iOS. Frankly, we wish we could give it more than five stars for the virtually unlimited song possibilities, ease of use, and excellent touch-screen controls.” Nation Horrified By Carolina Panthers' Disturbingly Graphic Logo Redesign Most Clippers Fans Still Have No Idea Team Is Doing Well