WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. LIVERMORE, CA—Judging by his 18-month-old son's recent cognitive developments, local father Ryan Hardell figures he has about three more months to get drunk, curse, and make cruel jokes before the child begins forming long-term memories. "... Area Woman Recalls Days When She Resented Being Hit On Reviewing iPhone 4S at TechCrunch, columnist MG Siegler finds much to like, including its faster speed, improved camera, iOS 5 with Notification Center, and Siri, which he calls “the true killer feature of the device.” He adds: “The iPhone 4 was a great product. The best smartphone ever made. Now it cedes that title to the iPhone 4S.” Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2011 fourth quarter ended September 24, 2011. The Company posted quarterly revenue of $28.27 billion and quarterly net profit of $6.62 billion, or $7.05 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $20.34 billion and net quarterly profit of $4.31 billion, or $4.64 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. Gross margin was 40.3 percent compared to 36.9 percent in the year-ago quarter. International sales accounted for 63 percent of the quarter’s revenue. USA Today reviewer Edward C. Baig describes his experience using the first Multi-Touch digital textbooks published for the iBooks 2 for iPad app, noting that they are “engaging in ways that were simply not possible with the textbooks I grew up with.” Baig likes the portability, updatability, and low pricing of iBooks 2 digital textbooks and touts specific features like instant search, highlighting, bookmarking, and interactive graphics. Writes Baig, “It’s better to see an animated tour of the genome in E.O. Wilson’s Life on Earth than just to read about it. ” StudioDaily’s Beth Marchant reports on “key features” delivered in Final Cut Pro version 10.0.3. Marchant interviews Radical Media CTO Evan Schechtman — an early adopter of Final Cut Pro X — who calls version 10.0.3 “an even bigger deal than the original release,” noting that his company is “ready to transition completely to Final Cut Pro X now that broadcast monitoring and multicam editing are in the mix.” Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats Aries The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you're supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car. Taurus That person you've been see... Before the Senate Budget Committee, the Federal Reserve chairman continued to defend against criticism of efforts to simultaneously control inflation and unemployment. The Obama campaign said it was refunding more than $200,000 raised by the family of a casino magnate linked to violence and corruption in Mexico who has been seeking a pardon. Narcissist Thrilled To Find Symptoms In DSM-IV Blog post and video from Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit about company efforts to stop the Rustock spambot. Wired Magazine reports that Newsstand, a new feature of iOS 5, is “hitting it big with traditional media publishers thanks to its windfall delivery of new digital subscriptions.” Newsstand keeps all app subscriptions for newspapers, magazines, and journals in one convenient place on the iOS 5 home screen and makes it easy to shop for new reading material. Wired cites Conde Nast and The New York Times among publishers seeing large spikes in app subscriptions since Newsstand launched. Karen Handel’s resignation comes just days after the group reversed its decision to cut grants to Planned Parenthood affiliates. During primary season, it can be tough to decide whom you wish to nominate for president of the United States. Here are some simple ways to decide which candidate is right for you: Don’t vote for anyone who can’t make free throws, b... With the city of Homs reported to be under renewed bombardment, a senior Russian envoy held talks with President Bashar al-Assad on Tuesday. Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. Missing another deadline, the government failed to reach agreement with creditors Tuesday, and Greek workers walked off the job to protest austerity measures. NEW YORK—The NHL announced Tuesday it would study the possible safety and injury risks of playing hockey on Astro-Ice, an artificial rink-surfacing material used by many teams instead of expensive and difficult-to-maintain ice, the solid state of wa... Completely Whipped Man Crying At Wife’s Funeral