On Mike Tyson Being Inducted Into WWE Hall Of Fame Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It's a special GOOMF Blast! Blog post and video from Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit about company efforts to stop the Rustock spambot. Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats Completely Whipped Man Crying At Wife’s Funeral A federal appeals court panel ruled Tuesday that a voter-approved ban on gay marriage in California violated the Constitution, all but ensuring the case will proceed to the United States Supreme Court. Talking Trash Narcissist Thrilled To Find Symptoms In DSM-IV Wired reviewer Brian X. Chen writes that a superb new camera and speedy dual-core processor are great additions to iPhone 4S and that Siri alone is reason enough to buy the phone: “To give you an idea of how convenient Siri is, it takes about three seconds to create a reminder with a voice command, as opposed to the 10 seconds it takes me to manually type an event into a to-do list or calendar entry.” Chen concludes: “…both inside and out, this is a magnificent smartphone.” Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 first quarter, which spanned 14 weeks and ended December 31, 2011. The Company posted record quarterly revenue of $46.33 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.06 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $26.74 billion and net quarterly profit of $6 billion, or $6.43 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with our outstanding results and record-breaking sales of iPhones, iPads, and Macs,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Apple’s momentum is incredibly strong, and we have some amazing new products in the pipeline.” President Mohamed Nasheed of the Maldives resigned on Tuesday amid rising protests in the capital over his recent arrest of a criminal court judge. Man Wants To Give To Local PBS Affiliate But Can't Stand Thought Of Free Doo-Wop Album COLUMBUS, OH—Fantastic roommate Billy Grant just won't stop buying toilet paper. Apple announced that GarageBand, its breakthrough music creation app, is now available for iPhone and iPod touch. Introduced earlier this year on iPad, GarageBand uses Apple’s Multi-Touch interface to make it easy for anyone to create and record their own songs, even if they’ve never played an instrument before. GarageBand 1.1 for iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch is available on the App Store for $4.99 (US) to new users, or as a free update for existing GarageBand for iPad customers. LIVERMORE, CA—Judging by his 18-month-old son's recent cognitive developments, local father Ryan Hardell figures he has about three more months to get drunk, curse, and make cruel jokes before the child begins forming long-term memories. "... Welcome to Dickens World, a peculiar theme park based on the author’s works. Wired Magazine reports that Newsstand, a new feature of iOS 5, is “hitting it big with traditional media publishers thanks to its windfall delivery of new digital subscriptions.” Newsstand keeps all app subscriptions for newspapers, magazines, and journals in one convenient place on the iOS 5 home screen and makes it easy to shop for new reading material. Wired cites Conde Nast and The New York Times among publishers seeing large spikes in app subscriptions since Newsstand launched. In a special post-speech analysis, panelists discuss what America did to make President Obama so angry he was actually spitting while he yelled at us. New York Times columnist David Pogue reports on AssistiveTouch, an “amazingly thoughtful” iOS 5 feature that makes it possible to complete Multi-Touch gestures using one finger or a stylus. Writes Pogue: “I doubt that people with severe motor control challenges represent a financially significant number of the iPhone’s millions of customers. But somebody at Apple took them seriously enough to write a complete, elegant and thoughtful feature that takes down most of the barriers to using an app phone.” The State Department is preparing to slash the huge diplomatic presence it had planned for Iraq, a sharp sign of declining American influence in the country. Apple today announced an all-new iTunes U app, giving educators and students everything they need on their iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch to teach and take entire courses. The all-new iTunes U app lets teachers create and manage courses — including essential components such as lectures, assignments, books, quizzes, and syllabuses — and offer them to millions of iOS users around the world. The app also gives iOS users access to the world’s largest catalog of free educational content from top universities including Cambridge, Duke, Harvard, Oxford and Stanford. And starting today, any K-12 school district can offer full courses through the iTunes U app.