In a special post-speech analysis, panelists discuss what America did to make President Obama so angry he was actually spitting while he yelled at us. Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business Aries The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you're supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car. Taurus That person you've been see... The transfer of U.S. Marines to Guam will not require the prior closure of a base on the southern Japan island of Okinawa, the United States and Japan announced Wednesday. Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It's a special GOOMF Blast! WASHINGTON—According to a report from the U.S. Department of Education released Thursday, watching a single episode of the British TV series Downton Abbey is the cultural and educational equivalent of reading an entire book. Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination. Whatever your perspective on how likely Mitt Romney was to lose the Republican nomination race prior to Tuesday evening, it should be acknowledged that he had about the worst results conceivable. Most Clippers Fans Still Have No Idea Team Is Doing Well New York Times columnist David Pogue reports on AssistiveTouch, an “amazingly thoughtful” iOS 5 feature that makes it possible to complete Multi-Touch gestures using one finger or a stylus. Writes Pogue: “I doubt that people with severe motor control challenges represent a financially significant number of the iPhone’s millions of customers. But somebody at Apple took them seriously enough to write a complete, elegant and thoughtful feature that takes down most of the barriers to using an app phone.” In an interview at National Geographic’s Adventure blog, director Tim Kemple of Camp 4 Collective — an outdoor video and film production company — describes using iPhone 4S to shoot a hi-def music video at the Great Salt Lake as an experiment in remote location capture. Kemple reports getting excellent video from iPhone 4S, noting that “because it’s always with you means you end up using it when you’d least expect.” The interview includes tips for stabilizing shots, optimizing for iOS 5 features, using helpful apps in extreme environments, and shooting in low light. USA Today reviewer Edward C. Baig describes his experience using the first Multi-Touch digital textbooks published for the iBooks 2 for iPad app, noting that they are “engaging in ways that were simply not possible with the textbooks I grew up with.” Baig likes the portability, updatability, and low pricing of iBooks 2 digital textbooks and touts specific features like instant search, highlighting, bookmarking, and interactive graphics. Writes Baig, “It’s better to see an animated tour of the genome in E.O. Wilson’s Life on Earth than just to read about it. ” The Benetton Group, headquartered in Venice, Italy, is internationally known for its lively fashions and memorable ad campaigns. Recently, they created a fast, color-accurate iPad catalog app that replaces bulky, production-intensive hardcopy catalogs. As a result, the company saves 60 days per year in preparing its sales materials for its staff and is able to adapt instantly to changes. Completely Whipped Man Crying At Wife’s Funeral Wired Magazine reports that Newsstand, a new feature of iOS 5, is “hitting it big with traditional media publishers thanks to its windfall delivery of new digital subscriptions.” Newsstand keeps all app subscriptions for newspapers, magazines, and journals in one convenient place on the iOS 5 home screen and makes it easy to shop for new reading material. Wired cites Conde Nast and The New York Times among publishers seeing large spikes in app subscriptions since Newsstand launched. StudioDaily’s Beth Marchant reports on “key features” delivered in Final Cut Pro version 10.0.3. Marchant interviews Radical Media CTO Evan Schechtman — an early adopter of Final Cut Pro X — who calls version 10.0.3 “an even bigger deal than the original release,” noting that his company is “ready to transition completely to Final Cut Pro X now that broadcast monitoring and multicam editing are in the mix.” After an investigation into a woman’s claim that she was raped by Greg Kelly, a son of Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly, the Manhattan district attorney’s office said the facts “do not fit the definition of sexual assault crimes.” Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. Bloomberg’s Peter Burrows reports that Apple is making rapid headway selling into corporations — especially financial services and pharmaceutical firms. Burrows writes that Apple’s corporate sales are being driven chiefly by iPad, which “has become a standard business tool.” The article quotes Matt Wallach, co-founder of Veeva Systems, who says: “I’ve seen a lot of devices come and go over the years. Nothing touches the speed of adoption of the iPad.” Apple announced that GarageBand, its breakthrough music creation app, is now available for iPhone and iPod touch. Introduced earlier this year on iPad, GarageBand uses Apple’s Multi-Touch interface to make it easy for anyone to create and record their own songs, even if they’ve never played an instrument before. GarageBand 1.1 for iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch is available on the App Store for $4.99 (US) to new users, or as a free update for existing GarageBand for iPad customers. Blog post and video from Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit about company efforts to stop the Rustock spambot.