Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 first quarter, which spanned 14 weeks and ended December 31, 2011. The Company posted record quarterly revenue of $46.33 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.06 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $26.74 billion and net quarterly profit of $6 billion, or $6.43 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with our outstanding results and record-breaking sales of iPhones, iPads, and Macs,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Apple’s momentum is incredibly strong, and we have some amazing new products in the pipeline.” Narcissist Thrilled To Find Symptoms In DSM-IV Driving the talks has been a clear recognition that the ever-worsening collapse of the Greek economy will require another increase in bailout funds. Aries The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you're supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car. Taurus That person you've been see... In a special post-speech analysis, panelists discuss what America did to make President Obama so angry he was actually spitting while he yelled at us. With no family or friends in attendance, Matt and Shandra Fink were quietly married in a low-key Las Vegas ceremony, but the couple went right from there to pulling off an exciting casino robbery. In a new tactic for countering the data assault, offices are giving workers a second computer screen and sometimes a third. Apple today released Final Cut Pro X version 10.0.3, a significant update to its revolutionary professional video editing application. Version 10.0.3 introduces Multicam Editing, which automatically syncs up to 64 angles of video and photos; advanced chroma keying for handling complex adjustments right in the app; and enhanced XML for a richer interchange with third-party apps and plug-ins that support the fast growing Final Cut Pro X ecosystem. It also includes a beta version of Broadcast Monitoring that supports Thunderbolt devices as well as PCIe cards. Final Cut Pro X version 10.0.3 is available from the Mac App Store for $299.99 (US) to new users, or as a free update for existing Final Cut Pro X customers. New York Times columnist David Pogue reports on AssistiveTouch, an “amazingly thoughtful” iOS 5 feature that makes it possible to complete Multi-Touch gestures using one finger or a stylus. Writes Pogue: “I doubt that people with severe motor control challenges represent a financially significant number of the iPhone’s millions of customers. But somebody at Apple took them seriously enough to write a complete, elegant and thoughtful feature that takes down most of the barriers to using an app phone.” Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It's a special GOOMF Blast! After an investigation into a woman’s claim that she was raped by Greg Kelly, a son of Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly, the Manhattan district attorney’s office said the facts “do not fit the definition of sexual assault crimes.” WASHINGTON—According to a report from the U.S. Department of Education released Thursday, watching a single episode of the British TV series Downton Abbey is the cultural and educational equivalent of reading an entire book. During primary season, it can be tough to decide whom you wish to nominate for president of the United States. Here are some simple ways to decide which candidate is right for you: Don’t vote for anyone who can’t make free throws, b... Whatever your perspective on how likely Mitt Romney was to lose the Republican nomination race prior to Tuesday evening, it should be acknowledged that he had about the worst results conceivable. Rupert Murdoch’s British newspaper subsidiary was reported to have reached a new batch of settlements on Wednesday in the hacking scandal. $75.30 (+$.1.10) (+1.5%) The automaker's shares went up after it announced a deal with Costco in which the warehouse-store chain will carry 20-packs of Camrys. Miami-Dade County officials are expected to abolish the city of Islandia, a desolate chain of 33 islands that mid-century land developers had hoped to turn into a rollicking resort town. StudioDaily’s Beth Marchant reports on “key features” delivered in Final Cut Pro version 10.0.3. Marchant interviews Radical Media CTO Evan Schechtman — an early adopter of Final Cut Pro X — who calls version 10.0.3 “an even bigger deal than the original release,” noting that his company is “ready to transition completely to Final Cut Pro X now that broadcast monitoring and multicam editing are in the mix.” The Chicago Police Department has begun a voluntary workshop for officers who wish to tell their own stories and write their own books.