Bloomberg’s Peter Burrows reports that Apple is making rapid headway selling into corporations — especially financial services and pharmaceutical firms. Burrows writes that Apple’s corporate sales are being driven chiefly by iPad, which “has become a standard business tool.” The article quotes Matt Wallach, co-founder of Veeva Systems, who says: “I’ve seen a lot of devices come and go over the years. Nothing touches the speed of adoption of the iPad.” Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 first quarter, which spanned 14 weeks and ended December 31, 2011. The Company posted record quarterly revenue of $46.33 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.06 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $26.74 billion and net quarterly profit of $6 billion, or $6.43 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with our outstanding results and record-breaking sales of iPhones, iPads, and Macs,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Apple’s momentum is incredibly strong, and we have some amazing new products in the pipeline.” Apple today announced iPhone 4S, the most amazing iPhone yet, packed with new features like Apple’s dual-core A5 chip for blazing fast performance and stunning graphics; an 8MP camera with advanced optics; full 1080p HD resolution video recording; and Siri, an intelligent assistant that helps you get things done just by asking. iPhone 4S also ships with iOS 5 — the world’s most advanced mobile operating system, with over 200 new features — and iCloud. Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. President Mohamed Nasheed of the Maldives resigned on Tuesday amid rising protests in the capital over his recent arrest of a criminal court judge. Completely Whipped Man Crying At Wife’s Funeral The State Department is preparing to slash the huge diplomatic presence it had planned for Iraq, a sharp sign of declining American influence in the country. Talking Trash Before the Senate Budget Committee, the Federal Reserve chairman continued to defend against criticism of efforts to simultaneously control inflation and unemployment. WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats Students at Punahou School in Honolulu, Hawaii, are using Mac notebooks to research class assignments and show results in ways they never could before. These include songs and podcasts recorded and edited in GarageBand, digital presentations and portfolios created in Keynote, campus news videos edited in iMovie and Final Cut Pro, and even iOS apps built using Xcode. Says sixth grade teacher Sandy Chang, “The Macs in my classroom are completely indispensable.” Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination. HOUSTON—Marking a momentous leap forward in humankind's understanding of the universe, NASA scientists announced today they had received a radio transmission confirming the existence of intelligent, extremely condescending life in a galaxy nearly 13... The Benetton Group, headquartered in Venice, Italy, is internationally known for its lively fashions and memorable ad campaigns. Recently, they created a fast, color-accurate iPad catalog app that replaces bulky, production-intensive hardcopy catalogs. As a result, the company saves 60 days per year in preparing its sales materials for its staff and is able to adapt instantly to changes. Wired Magazine reports that Newsstand, a new feature of iOS 5, is “hitting it big with traditional media publishers thanks to its windfall delivery of new digital subscriptions.” Newsstand keeps all app subscriptions for newspapers, magazines, and journals in one convenient place on the iOS 5 home screen and makes it easy to shop for new reading material. Wired cites Conde Nast and The New York Times among publishers seeing large spikes in app subscriptions since Newsstand launched. Most Clippers Fans Still Have No Idea Team Is Doing Well StudioDaily’s Beth Marchant reports on “key features” delivered in Final Cut Pro version 10.0.3. Marchant interviews Radical Media CTO Evan Schechtman — an early adopter of Final Cut Pro X — who calls version 10.0.3 “an even bigger deal than the original release,” noting that his company is “ready to transition completely to Final Cut Pro X now that broadcast monitoring and multicam editing are in the mix.” COLUMBUS, OH—Fantastic roommate Billy Grant just won't stop buying toilet paper. A federal appeals court panel ruled Tuesday that a voter-approved ban on gay marriage in California violated the Constitution, all but ensuring the case will proceed to the United States Supreme Court. Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business